


Duties of Husband and Wife

by TheBigLoserQueen



Series: Viking AU [23]
Category: Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Vikings, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fear, Het, Hugs, Human, Kissing, Mild Sexual Content, Mild Smut, Rough Kissing, Vikings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-19 01:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,854
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4727474
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBigLoserQueen/pseuds/TheBigLoserQueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Thornstriker feels that she owes Bloodshed with everything he does for her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duties of Husband and Wife

Thornstriker hummed softly to herself. She never thought she would be in the position she was now, but... She was. And she was so happy about it too. It sometimes made her forget about the conflict between the Nemesis clan and the other three clans. It made her forget that winter was ending soon, meaning a fierce battle was on its way soon. It made her feel... free, happy. Which she honestly thought she would never feel again after what had happened with her grandparents.  
  
But she was happy. And she was slowly being accepted into her husband's clan. More and more people were starting to trust her. Even the clan leader Megatron seemed to trust her! She never thought that would have been possible...   
  
But she was doing well. When she had discovered the surprise attack some enemy soldiers were planning, she had rushed to tell Megatron himself. It almost got her killed, but she hadn't cared at the moment. She had only wanted to make sure Megatron would take what she heard and prepare a defensive attack. She didn't want any more lives lost. She was tired of death.  
  
She had been fortunate enough for Megatron to listen to her and they had been able to repel an enemy attack. She also helped some of the injured warriors with their injuries with some traditional herb techniques her grandmother had showed her when she was a young girl. Some people thought she was doing this to get on everyone's good side, but she didn't care if she was accepted or not. She just wanted everyone to be healthy and alive.   
  
And more and more people were starting to see that. They were slowly starting to notice that she was a kind girl, a nice young woman. That Bloodshed wasn't some traitor or some idiot who had been "seduced" by her. That she could be trusted and she had no intentions of doing anything that could potentially bring harm to the village.  
  
So she had been more than happy when a group of women invited her to go gathering with them. For a long while now, she was alone when she gathered with the rest of the gatherers. She was glad that people wanted to talk to her now, giving her a chance to make friends.   
  
Of course, she wasn't expecting them to ask her... some of the things they were asking.    
  
"What's it like?" Extel asked as she picked some berries from the bush they were at.  
  
Thornstriker blinked and turned to her. "What's what like?"  
  
"Having Bloodshed as your husband."   
  
"Oh... It's nice."  
  
The girl next to her on her left, Marine, turned to her and arched an eyebrow. "Only nice?"  
  
"Well, um, Bloodshed... He's a wonderful husband. Very kind and considerate..."  
  
Marine and Extel looked at each other before bursting out into giggles. Thornstriker just sat there between them, utterly confused by their laughter. She looked behind her at the two older women - Cometstar and Starshine - who were just smiling at her. She felt completely lost and confused, not understanding why they were all laughing. What was so funny?!   
  
"We mean how he is in the bedroom!" Extel whispered excitedly, hugging her arm as she and Marine giggled. "We've all heard the stories from other women - but we want to know from his wife! You two must do it a lot, right?"   
  
Now she just got even more confused. "Wh-What?"  
  
Marine gave an exaggerated sigh and shook her head. "You know, the sex! What's the sex like with your husband?"   
  
"S-S-Sex?!" she cried out, her eyes wide with horror and embarrassment. Dear Primus, how could they be so bold as to ask her something like that?! And, much to her shock, the other women who had heard her shriek that only seemed to be interested instead of repulsed! She had no idea that this clan was so... open about this.   
  
Cometstar laughed as she walked over to the three younger women. "So, is it like the other women say?"  
  
"Wh-Wha-"  
  
"You know," Extel giggled, nudging her. "Is he like his dad?"  
  
"Extel! You know she's never been in a relationship with Bombrush like Cometstar!"  
  
The oldest woman gave a soft laugh at Marine's little outburst. She looked down to see Thornstriker looking at her, utterly confused. She smiled. "I've slept with Bombrush when I was younger, yes. And many partners of both him and Bloodshed say that they’re both incredibly great in bed. Though, Bombrush isn't as... aggressive, shall we say?"   
  
"A-Aggressive?"  
  
"Well, you should know," Marine said. "So. How much of a beast is he? You must be super sore in the mornings... I can only imagine how hard it must be for you. What sort of herbs and creams to do use to dull the pain?"   
  
Thornstriker's mind completely shut down as her entire face went bright red. She felt like she was drowning in completely embarrassment. Primus, why were they asking her about all this? Did Bloodshed's clan just talk about this nonchalantly? Wasn't this supposed to be something discussed behind closed doors with the medicine woman or something?  
  
"Maybe its that one I've heard about," Cometstar said. "There's a recipe for a cream you put on beforehand that not only eases the pain, but it also prevents you from getting pregnant-"  
  
"Cometstar, Thornstriker wouldn't be using that one! As his new wife, she has to bear his children and help the clan grow."  
  
"Marine's right. Besides, Bloodshed's children would be great warriors like he is. No doubt Megatron wants Bloodshed to have many strong children."  
  
"That shouldn't be too hard for Bloodshed. He's insatiable. Went almost the whole night with me long ago..."  
  
Thornstriker had to lean against a tree to steady herself. It was so much for her and she should have just dismissed them and told them the truth. But what they were saying made her unable to correct them.  
  
She was Bloodshed's wife. She was supposed to be doing this. Having... sex with him. That was her duty as his wife to relieve his tension. And to help carry on his and the clan's legacy with heirs. Many heirs. Many strong and big heirs like him.  
  
"So Thornstriker... is he still good in bed or not?"  
  
Thornstriker looked up to the other women looking at her with anticipation. Could she tell them the truth? That Bloodshed had never asked or try to push sex at all with her?  
  
No… no, she couldn't. It would ruin his pride and honor as a man and a warrior. They couldn't possibly understand that they were just friends... and had never done anything like that. He was a husband; it was expected of him to be trying to conceive children with his wife. His clan would think horrible of him if it were to go around that he didn't have sex with his wife. They would think that either something was wrong with him or that he was gay or something.  
  
"He... he's good... he-" She couldn't say anything else, turning away to blush bright red as the other girls started to giggle.  
  
"Aww, don't be like that!" Marine came over to hug Thornstriker. "It's okay to say he's a lot to handle in bed!"  
  
"She's probably just shy, that's all."  
  
"Or maybe she's still not used to how often Bloodshed has sex," Cometstar interjected as she and the other woman came over to console the 'blushing bride.' "He's never one to go too long with having a partner in bed."  
  
"True," Starshine thought it over before she turned back to Thornstriker, "So what do you do to handle all the sore mornings?"  
  
"I... I..." Thornstriker wasn't sure what to say. She didn't know how to handle any sore mornings because she never had any! And to hear from Cometstar that her husband always seemed to be doing it before they married... Primus, what sort of wife was she? But she had to say something! "I... I just rub some herbs and ointment on my lower back."    
  
"And that's all that hurts you?"  
  
She didn't reply, looking down at her hands.  
  
"Oh, it's understandable," Starshine said, giving a small sigh. "When I was partners with Bloodshed, Primus, I was sore all over."  
  
That made Thornstriker look up at her with wide eyes. "Y-You were par-partners w-with him?"  
  
"Yes - but don't worry! I'm not going to steal him from you," she chirped, smiling as she rubbed Thornstriker's shoulders. "But I can tell you - he's pretty rough, isn't he? And I'm a lot more meatier and stronger than you, so I can only imagine how much more pain you are in the mornings sometimes."  
  
Thornstriker was at a loss for words. And even when the girls kept throwing question after question at her with more girls joining the group, she just remained silent and flustered. Even when they talked about how "hardcore she was for going out to gather with no signs of fatigue after so many rounds," she just remained silent.   
  
Bloodshed... had a reputation. He was... an aggressive and popular man to have sex with. He had been with a lot of women and he was... good at it. Just very rough. Apparently not Megatron rough, whatever that meant. And honestly, she didn't want to know either. Primus, she didn't even want to know about Bloodshed! Mainly because she still saw him on a friendship level... For the most part anyway. She did think he was attractive and they would kiss and snuggle occasionally, but nothing... sexual.   
  
She looked down at her hands. She was Bloodshed's wife. She... was supposed to be sexually active with him. She was supposed to be sleeping with him. But they had never slept together. Not once. They shared a life, a home, a bed, but... Nothing. There was nothing sexual going on between them. She wasn't carrying out her duties as a wife to him.  
  
... Was he bothered by that? Yes, at the beginning, he told her that he would never force her to have sex with him and that he wouldn't do anything unless she said it was okay beforehand. He never once tried to hint he wanted to have sex with her or even come onto her. The most he did was kiss her, but it wasn't for very long. Just a quick peck or soft kiss. Even now, after four months of being married, he never went further than that.   
  
That was... wrong. She was his wife. And she had a duty to satisfy him and bear his children. He had already done more than enough as her husband. He had saved her life. He had housed her. He took great care of her. He had given her Eira when he thought it would help her loneliness. He was kind and gentle and always put her needs first.   
  
So why couldn't she do what she had to do as his wife?  
  
"I-I need to get home," she said suddenly, standing up. "Bl-Bloodshed's coming home early, so... so I..."  
  
But the girls didn't need any more explanation. Cometstar gave a soft chuckle and shook her head. "Four months and still so passionate. It's cute, Thornstriker."   
  
"Th-Thank you," she mumbled out, cheeks turning bright red, "I-I'll see you tomorrow..."  
  
"Don't push yourself too hard!  You can always sleep in a day after a long night!"  
  
Thornstriker nearly tripped before she steadied herself as she waved goodbye. Once she was out of sight, she quickly hastened her pace to rush back to the village gates before she hurried home.  Bloodshed was still out on patrol and while he would be home earlier, she still had a bit of time before he came home.  
  
She could figure out what to do with herself then.

* * *

Thornstriker was still unsure of herself by the time Bloodshed got home. And even preparing dinner and eating with him, she still didn't know. Now that she was sitting in his lap resting, she could only grip the blanket's edge as he held her close.  
  
"Did you go out collecting again today?"  
  
She nearly jumped, but quickly passed it off as surprise when she turned back to look at the soft expression on his face. "Y-Yes... Cometstar and some of the other women were out looking for herbs and they invited me when I went to go get our rations today."  
  
"Ah," he muttered as he rubbed her arm.  He had been a bit confused about the idea of his wife and true love hanging out with some of his past flings, but he had shrugged it off.  What could one expect living in a village?  Everyone knew each other and all. "You're getting popular."  
  
"N-Not really," she murmured softly, cheeks turning a bit red.   
  
"I think so. More and more people talk about you. And all the women seem to like you, which is nice, I'm guessing."   
  
She just gave a small laugh, though it was forced. Well, yes, that was true… They did seem to enjoy her company. And they just loved to gush over how cute she and Bloodshed seemed. Among other things.   
  
“Yes… They do.”  
  
“Are you getting along with them?”  
  
She nodded.  
  
He gave a small sigh of relief. “I’m glad…” He leaned down to gently kiss the top of her head. “I don’t want you to feel like you’re alone.”  
  
“I-I don’t…” Then she buried her face into his chest, not sure what else to say. Luckily for her, Bloodshed only gave a soft laugh, thinking she was just embarrassed or being shy.  
  
Truthfully, she was being attacked by waves of confusing thoughts and feelings. She couldn’t help but to feel guilty. Like she was being a bad wife. In the four months they had been married, she never slept with him once. Not once.  
  
And yet… he had done so much for her. So much and she never returned the favor for his kindness. Primus, he even promised her he would be loyal to her and even then she never once slept with him! How could he remain faithful to her when she wasn’t even letting him do what he wanted?! He should have a mistress by now or something…  
  
Her heart clenched at the thought. The idea made her sick. She was his wife and she should have been the only one he was with. She was supposed to be the one to pleasure him and bear him many strong and healthy children. But she knew that if she didn’t have sex with him, he would go to someone else. He had told her from the very beginning that he would never force her to have sex with him.    
  
She bit her bottom lip. No. No, she couldn’t let that happen. She didn’t want him to go to someone else for pleasure. She didn’t want him to be shamed by the community because they didn’t have sex.   
  
She needed to let him do it. Even though she was scared to death by the idea. Primus, everyone  _had_  said that Bloodshed was… mean. Aggressive. A complete beast in bed. Nothing how he was with her now. He was gentle and caring, very loving and sweet towards her…   
  
But that wasn’t how Bloodshed was in bed. He wasn’t going to be… gentle. He was going to be rough. And because she was so much weaker and smaller than him, she was going to be in pain… and sore. It was going to hurt…  
  
She shook her head of such thoughts. No, it didn’t matter if it was going to hurt. She wasn’t doing this for her. It was for Bloodshed. And she knew she had to do something now… Otherwise she would talk herself out of it and then Bloodshed wouldn’t be satisfied.   
  
Taking a deep breath, she slowly looked up at Bloodshed. His focus was on the fire and Eira, who was sleeping in a small basket by the fireplace. She glanced at the still young kitten too, trying to figure out how she was going to… initiate this.   
  
Maybe she should kiss his neck? That seemed… sensual. And maybe Bloodshed would understand what she was trying to do. She hoped anyway…  
  
Swallowing, she slowly leaned up and planted a soft peck to his neck. She felt Bloodshed stiffen a bit as he looked down at her. She peeked up at him, seeing that him staring at her with wide eyes. But she quickly hid her face again, swallowing as she gave him another peck.  
  
He wasn’t sure what she was doing, but he didn’t stop her. Instead, he just gently patted her head, running his fingers through her hair. But then he felt her kiss his neck again, her hands coming up and gently running her fingers up his chest. He jumped a bit, looking down at her again.  
  
“Thornstriker?”   
  
His wife didn’t look at him yet, still kissing away at his chest and neck. Bloodshed squirmed a bit, not sure what to do as her lips slowly ascended higher and higher up his neck.   
  
Finally, when her lips brushed against his Adam’s Apple, he seized her by the arms and pushed her back to look at her with a bewildered expression. He was greeted with her staring up at him with wide eyes and a red face, bottom lip quivering as she stared at him.  
  
"What... are you doing?" Bloodshed started off forcefully, but quickly turned his question into a confused one as he saw his wife's face. She was never one to initiate kissing like this. Hell, this wasn't even how they made out normally! He wanted an answer, but her hesitant look made him wary about acting like he didn't like what she was doing. He had enjoyed it; it was just very disturbing to him considering who was kissing him.  
  
Thornstriker finally bit her lip as she second-guessed herself looking into his bewildered face as it screamed for answers. She thought about telling him her worries and all, but she remembered why she had started this in the first place. He would probably think she was overreacting. Or he might even doubt their marriage if she pointed out the  _flaws_  that their marriage had at this moment. She didn't want him to have to worry about that or even reconsider marrying her. She had to make him happy. She had to continue her charades to give him what he wanted.  
  
Steeling herself, she couldn't stop the blush from brightening her cheeks as she looked away for a moment. "I... I was... I'm... I'm trying to... Y-You know..."  
  
Bloodshed could only stare at her as she tried to give a cohesive sentence. She was obviously flustered, biting her bottom lip as she tried to avoid him his gaze, looking everywhere but at him. While he could guess at what she was trying to say, he was too stunned to think that that was it. Thornstriker... wasn't like that. They were married and he loved her, but... she saw him as a friend...  
  
"Are you… Do you want to do it?"  
  
Her entire face light up brightly, tensing. While she didn't really want to do it... she knew she had to do it. But she couldn't say yes, knowing she wouldn't be able to make it sound very convincing. But she had to give him some sort of answer! And she had an idea of one that didn't require her to say anything... It was just so... forward and embarrassing.  
  
Taking a deep breath, she moved her arms to wrap around his neck. Trying to remember what he would do and doing her best to ignore his even more befuddled look, she braced herself as she threw her lips against his, trying to make her kiss as breathtaking and as sensual as she hoped it could be to convince him to finally have sex with her.  
  
Bloodshed, however, ended up on the receiving end of a wet and inexperienced kiss. Though he had definitely had better kissing partners in the past, the fact that the woman he loved was trying to kiss him hard made him overlook the fact that it was a sloppy one. He merely put his arms around her and quickly turned the silly kiss into a deep one as he held her close. Primus, if she really suggesting what he thought she was suggesting, he would be sure to make it the best she could ever imagine.  
  
Thornstriker's eyes widened as Bloodshed's arms suddenly came around her, pulling her against his chest. She gripped at the fabric of his coat tightly. It was... intense. Much more intense than any other kiss they had shared. Those were generally quick, chaste... This one was dragged out and deep...  
  
"Open your mouth," he whispered gently against her lips before kissing her again.  
  
She wasn't sure why he asked that, but shyly, she parted her lips. She cried out when his tongue slowly snaked inside, coiling around and wrestling with her stunned tongue. Primus, what was this?! What was he doing with his tongue?! This... This wasn't a kiss... was it? It sent shivers down her spine, making her hold onto him tighter as she attempted to kiss him back. She wasn't sure what to do though, simply moaning as his tongue seemed to explore her mouth.  
  
Thornstriker didn't know what to do, but she was able to keep up with Bloodshed who was now mapping every bit of her mouth with his tongue. She had never felt anything like this. Was this supposed to be romantic? Bloodshed seemed to be enjoying it because his hands were gripping her dress tighter and he was moaning loudly.  
  
Suddenly, she lost her balance when he pulled her further into his lap, her legs now on either side of his. Okay, she knew this at least. Sometimes when they were kissing, he would pull her closer and she liked it when he did that. She could feel his heart beating like this while they gently kissed. It was a relief considering he was still pushing his tongue into her mouth and pulling her flush to his chest.  
  
She could do this. She could get through this and the… sex. She could get through this.  
  
But as she began to learn how to return his deep kisses, she suddenly felt something very warm under her. That was odd. It wasn't Eira who was still asleep wriggling under her legs again. And Bloodshed was warm, but he didn't get this warm. What could it be-!  
  
Bloodshed pulled her even closer than before, groaning when their groins were flushed against each other. Thornstriker let out a gasp, entire body stiffening when she felt something hard poke at her lower half. Oh Primus... Oh Primus, that... that was Bloodshed's-?! It felt huge!  
  
He suddenly broke the kiss, his lips trailing down to her neck. She whimpered and moaned softly, eyes widening when he started rocking his hips up against hers. She trembled hard, a wave of fear taking over her.  _That_  was supposed to go inside her?! There was just no way...   
  
No, no she had to. She couldn't think like that. It  _would_  fit... even if it would be painful. She had to let Bloodshed do this. He would get a mistress otherwise and she didn't want that! She was his wife! She was supposed to have sex with him!  
  
"Thornstriker..." he whispered softly against her neck, making her let out a soft whimper. Too distracted by the kisses to her neck and the rubbing of their groins, she failed to notice one of his hands traveling away from her back to her front...  
  
"A-AH?!" she cried out, suddenly feeling a hand against her chest. She jerked her head down, eyes widening in shock and terror when she realized he was now groping at her breast. He gave gentle squeezes to the small mound, still rocking his hard length up against her groin.   
  
Primus, they hadn't even started getting undressed yet and he was... She gripped his shoulders tightly as she bit into her bottom lip again to hold back the frightened gasps she wanted to let out. Please... please just let this be quick. Just let him get to putting his... big man part into her and get him off quickly.  
  
She suddenly remembered Starshine and how she had mentioned Bloodshed being able to go all night. She couldn't stop her lip from trembling in the horrible thought of having to have this done to her all night.  
  
Bloodshed, caught up in the passion, realized where his hand was and quickly moved it to her side as he continued to kiss her neck and collarbone. That was a little too fast for now. He would have to try it out later though since she hadn't said anything about not doing that. For the moment, he would have to make her beg for more with just his kisses alone. After all, that was the most they had done so far.  
  
But he still wanted more. Having kissed her neck and what bare skin he could see, he wanted to see more. Slowly reaching up, the warrior began to shimmy the hem of her dress down so he could kiss the bare skin now visible. A gasp from his wife encouraged him to start inching it down further.  
  
He had pulled it off her shoulder and was kissing further down when he suddenly felt his hand shake. Blinking himself out of his trance, he looked at his hand to figure out what was causing it to shake-  
  
Bloodshed's eyes widened when he realized it wasn't his hands shaking; it was Thornstriker's arm. He looked up at her face, seeing that her eyes were shut tightly as she was trembling. Hard. There was this pained look on her face and he just now registered how tight her grip was on the back of his shirt.  
  
"Thornstriker?"  
  
She opened her eyes to look at him. He was disturbed by the look of fear in them, not understanding why she looked so frightened. Primus, she looked as if some wild animal was stalking her, shaking and completely petrified...  
  
"Are you okay?" he asked, his hands reaching up to gently take a hold of her face.   
  
Thornstriker just stared at him for a few moments, her mouth opening and closing as her bottom lip trembled. The question seemed to set something off inside of her. Her shaking stopped as this wave of fear completely washed over her, closing up her throat. But tears soon developed in the corners of her eyes, making Bloodshed's eyes widened.  
  
"Th-Thornstriker?"  
  
Hearing his concern voice finally broke her. Unable to hold it back anymore, Thornstriker burst into tears, crying hard as she realized how much she just couldn't do this. She couldn't satisfy him. She couldn't have sex with him. It was all too much and it was so... scary. That Bloodshed just a few minutes ago... That wasn't her Bloodshed. Her Bloodshed never touched her like that, or kissed her like that, or was so fast. He was gentle and sweet and slow... She could only sob in his lap, unable to do anything else.  
  
Her husband almost fell back in shock. W-Why was Thornstriker crying? Had he done something wrong? Primus, it was what he had done. Shit, he should have controlled himself better! What was he thinking going about and feeling her up like the others he used to sleep with?  
  
"Thornstriker? Thornstriker, Primus, what's wrong? What's wrong? Primus, I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-! Thornstriker, please don't cry." Panic taking over, Bloodshed hesitantly hugged her as he tried to calm her down. Any thoughts of lust from before had flown right out the door. Primus, how could he be thinking of that when his wife was crying her eyes out?  
  
Thornstriker cried even harder when she heard him beg her to stop crying, his hand rubbing her hair like he used to do when she was so depressed after her grandparents were killed in the raids.  Primus, she was now making him worry! Not only could she not satisfy his urges, but she made him worry about her all the time! She was the worst wife in existence! She didn't deserve him; this kind and wonderful man deserved a wife who could actually give him what he wanted and needed! He would never get to have sex with her! He would never get strong and healthy children from a weakling like her! And he was stuck with her for the rest of his life!  
  
"I-I-I'm sorry-! I'm s-sorry! P-Primus, I-I'm so sorry Bloodshed. I-! B-Bloodshed, I-I'm sor-!" She burst into more tears as she wailed even louder.  
  
“No, no, no…” Bloodshed hugged her tightly, running his hands through her hair as he tried to calm her down. He gently rocked her, trying to soothe her tears. Of course, he had no idea why she was crying to begin with. Had he done something wrong? Did groping her scare her?  
  
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “Don’t cry, don’t cry…”  
  
But Thornstriker still sobbed, unable to stop. She was ashamed of herself. She couldn’t just put aside her fear and commit to her duties as a wife. She couldn’t have sex with him, she couldn’t bring herself to do anything with him, even though she had to. And now he would go to someone else… He would have sex with another woman, but be forced to remain married to some useless wife like her…   
  
“I-I’m sorry…!” she sobbed out. “I-I’m so sorry…! Bloodshed, please…! I-I’m sorry I–”  
  
“No, no, don’t cry, it’s okay.” Though he wasn’t sure why she was apologizing. She hadn’t done anything wrong. He just wanted to know what was wrong!  
  
“I-I’m sorry…” she whimpered. “Pr-Primus… I-I’m so sorry…! I-I tried…! B-But I can’t! I just can’t!”   
  
“Can’t what? What’re you talking about?”  
  
But Thornstriker didn’t answer. She just sobbed softly, holding onto the man as she let the tears fall. He gently seized her face and wiped the tears away with his thumbs, trying to find out what was wrong. What he had done wrong to frighten her so much…  
  
“Please, Thornstriker, don’t cry,” he practically begged. Damn it, he loathed seeing her like this! Miserable and weeping… Just like after he had let her grandparents perish.  
  
He moved her a bit so that she was now cradled in his lap, Bloodshed holding her close to his chest as he rubbed her arm as she clung to him, almost like a frightened child. “What’s wrong?” he demanded gently, though clearly desperate to know what the issue was.   
  
“I-I’m sorry!” she sobbed again. “I-I want to be a good wife…! I-I owe you so much…! I-I tried…! B-But I can’t…! I just can’t…!”  
  
Bloodshed wasn’t sure how to take that. Be a good wife? Owe him? What did she mean? And she had tried, but couldn’t… Couldn’t what? Have sex with him? His brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what she meant.  
  
Then it hit him, his eyes widening. She… thought she owed him sex? Because… he had done so much for her? He had just done everything because he loved her. She knew he did! She never owed him anything… He did everything for her because he wanted to! And yet…  
  
“Who told you that you… owed me this?”  
  
Thornstriker flinched at the angry tone his voice. He didn’t mean it, but he couldn’t help it. Why the fuck would she think she needed to have sex with him?! He had told her that he would never make her do anything with him when she didn’t want to! So why…?  _Why_  did she believe that she needed to have sex with him?!  
  
“N-No one,” she whimpered, wiping away her tears. “B-But the other women… Th-They told me about yo-your urges. A-And I-I’m your wife… I-I’m supposed to have sex with you!”  
  
“Thorn–”  
  
“Y-You’ve done so much for me already… I-If it weren’t for you, I-I wouldn’t be here…! As-As your wife, I o-owe this to you! I-I’m supposed to have sex with you and bear you children! For-For everything, I-I owe you–”  
  
“You owe me  _nothing_!” Bloodshed finally shouted, causing Thornstriker to flinch back in fright and fall out of his lap. “I do things for you because I love you! Not so I can get you to have sex with me!”  
  
“B-But I-I’m your–”  
  
“It doesn’t matter if you’re my wife or not!” Bloodshed couldn’t stop his anger. It was too much. Everything he had done for her… He had only done it to show her how much he loved her. Not for any other reason. Not because he was her husband and had to. Not because he wanted to have sex with her. Not because he was trying to get something out of her. He had only done it because he loved her.  
  
And yet… She didn’t see it that way. She thought that she owed him… Even though he had told her he would never force her. Even though he had told her he would wait for her. Even though he had said that he was content with never doing anything at all… Thornstriker though that   
  
He stood up and growled, “Don’t… Don’t insult my feelings… I love you… And I just want to cherish you… Not force you to have sex with me just because we’re married.”  
  
Thornstriker just stared at him with wide eyes, but he turned away and stormed out of the hut, leaving her alone on the floor. 

* * *

It was late. Bloodshed still hadn’t come home. Thornstriker had no idea where he was at and she had no idea where she should even look for him. All she could do was lie on the hard, cold floor in front of the dim fire, feeling numb and disgusted with herself.   
  
This… was her fault. She… had insulted him. She had hurt Bloodshed’s feelings. She had taken his kind intentions and threw them back at his face and… said that she owed him sex.   
  
She curled further into herself, starting to cry again. Would he forgive her? Would he come back? Or did he… want nothing to do with her? She had offended him. Made him out to be some sort of manipulative pervert. How could she think of him that way?! He had risked his life to save her. He had told her he loved her and only wanted to protect her…  
  
She heard a small meow, making her look up to see little Eira in front of her, rubbing her nose against Thornstriker’s cheek. It only made the young woman cry harder as she thought of her husband. Even little Eira… Bloodshed had given her the little kitten so she wouldn’t feel lonely while he was away during the time she had no one but him. Where everyone thought her to be some treacherous witch.    
  
Bloodshed only wanted to love her. He had even said he would wait all eternity for her consent and if she never wanted to give it, then he didn’t mind.   
  
And she had the audacity to believe that she owed him.   
  
He must have hated her now. She had insulted him and made his feelings out to be so superficial and shallow… She had thought she was doing the right thing. She had thought that by doing this, he wouldn’t have to suffer any humiliation from his village and that she would have repaid him for his kindness. But he didn’t want that. He only wanted to cherish her and love her…  
  
But she wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t want to do that anymore. Not after what had happened.   
  
She was crying so hard that she didn’t even hear footsteps enter the hut and slowly come towards her. She could only curl up into herself, shivering from both how hard she was crying and how cold she was getting.   
  
There was suddenly a cloak over her, making her freeze up and jump. She looked over her shoulder, eyes widening when she saw Bloodshed kneeling behind her, staring back at her with wide eyes.  
  
“B-Bl-Blood… shed?” Her tears started pouring down faster as she stared at him in disbelief. Was she dreaming? Was Bloodshed really standing in front of her?   
  
He didn’t say anything, just looking at her like he had seen a ghost.  
  
“Bl-Bloodshed…!”  
  
She couldn’t stop herself. With tears blurring her vision, she threw herself at her husband, holding him tightly as she gripped the back of his shirt and buried her face into his chest.   
  
“Bl-Bloodshed…!” she sobbed, pushing herself further into his chest. “O-Oh Primus, I-I’m sorry…! I-I’m so… so sorry!”  
  
She could hear him shushing her, his arms coming around her to hold her to him. His hand cupped her head with his other arm was wrapped firmly around her waist, pulling her into his lap. It just made her cry harder, holding onto him for dear life, terrified that if she let go, he would leave her.   
  
“I-I’m sorry…!” she whimpered out. “I-I never…! I-I thought I-! I-I’m sorry! Blo-Bloodshed…! S-Sorry…!” She broke down into even harder sobs, unable to even get a sentence out as tears poured down her face.   
  
“It’s okay,” he murmured softly, kissing the top of her head as he tried to comfort her. “Please… Please, don’t cry. I’m sorry I left. Y-You didn’t do anything wrong…”  
  
But she still cried harder, making him try to hold her tighter.   
  
Fuck, he had been an idiot. He shouldn’t have stormed out of their hut like he had. Yes, he had been angry, but Thornstriker hadn’t intentionally done anything wrong. She had thought she was doing the right thing… She had wanted to make him happy, even though that wasn’t the way to do it. It was all with well-meaning intentions.   
  
But no, instead, he got angry and stormed out, no doubt scaring her and leaving her to cry alone and feel miserable while he was with his friends brooding. Nebula had really ripped into him for doing that because it was like she said. Thornstriker was innocent when it came to love and sex. She didn’t know how to act or what to really say or think of his actions. And from what Nebula told him, a bunch of his old partners had been telling Thornstriker how they had sex with him. Not to make her jealous, just to make conversation and tease her about her sex life with him.  
  
A sex life that no one but he, Thornstriker, and his two friends knew didn’t exist.    
  
He shouldn’t have exploded at her. Yes, he had been angry and he had been hurt… But he should have listened to her. He shouldn’t have yelled at her or left her alone. But he had… And now she was crying. Because of him.   
  
“It’s okay,” he murmured softly, rubbing her back as he felt his shirt get wet from her tears. “I… I shouldn’t have gotten angry… I’m sorry. It’s my fault…”  
  
“I-I didn’t meant to hurt you…!” she whimpered, trying to calm herself down. “I-I never…! I only-!”  
  
“Shh… It’s okay.” Bloodshed gently picked her up and carried her over to the bed. Thornstriker didn’t resist either, simply pressing into his chest and crying softly. Primus, she felt so cold… How long had she been lying there on the floor? She could have gotten sick or worse…  
  
He carefully laid her down on the bed, moving in bed next to her to hold her to him again.   
  
“Bl-Bloodshed…”  
  
He shushed her again, kissing her forehead. “Don’t… You did nothing wrong. Don’t apologize… Please. You didn’t do anything wrong.”  
  
“I-I hurt you…” She pressed her face into his chest again, her hands gripping at his shirt tightly. “I… I took your actions… As a way to manipulate me-!”  
  
“Thornstriker–”  
  
“I-I just…! I didn’t want you to be mocked…!” Oh Primus, she was starting to cry again. “Y-Your f-formers partners…! Th-They said y-you like it a-and that you have a rep-rep-reputation and I-I didn’t-!”  
  
He pulled her closer to his chest, causing the petite woman to give out a small gasp as her tears seemed to stop. “Bl-Bloodshed-?”  
  
“It’s true.”  
  
She blinked, trying to look up at him but unable to with how tightly he held her.   
  
“It’s true… I do like sex,” he said quietly. “I like to… do it and do it often. I do have… a reputation. And I guess you know of it since… you hang around my… former partners.”  
  
Thornstriker bit her bottom lip and nodded once.   
  
“… Thornstriker, I… I do want to have sex with you,” he admitted softly, his arms tightening about her. How could he not want that? She was the woman he had loved for so long and now, she was his wife. Of course he wanted to do it! “I do… But I want you to want it to. I want you to give consent… I want you to be able to enjoy it too.”  
  
The young woman blushed. So he did want to do it with her… But he wasn’t trying to make it seem like she owed him anything. He had been kind to her because he loved her… Not so he could get her to have sex with him.   
  
“And I don’t care what people say if they know,” he said, giving a small huff as he pulled back to look at her red face. “It doesn’t bother me if people know we’re not having sex. They can say whatever they want… They already have enough about our relationship.”  
  
Well… that was true. But still. To suddenly go from having lots of sex with many women to not having sex with his wife… She couldn’t help but worry. She didn’t want him to suffer anymore because of her. It was bad enough he had been considered a traitor for so long because he married her. And even if everything was fine now, that didn’t change the fact that people may reject him again if they found out he wasn’t having sex with her.   
  
“Thornstriker.”  
  
She looked up at him, eyes widening when he suddenly kissed her. It ended as quick as it happened, Thornstriker’s cheeks darkening.  
  
“Don’t worry about me,” he said, reaching up and stroking her cheek. “I just want you to be happy… And if you never want to do it, that’s fine.”  
  
“… B-But…”  
  
“But?”  
  
“Wh-What about you?”  
  
Now Bloodshed was confused.  
  
Thornstriker bit her bottom lip as she pushed herself more into his chest, holding him tighter. While she was fine with not having to do it, from the rumors of his reputation, Bloodshed obviously liked doing it. He clearly had a… much higher sex drive than she did. And while she couldn’t be the one to give him what he wanted… She felt selfish and angry with herself for thinking this way, but she didn’t want him to go to others either.  
  
“I… You… Don’t you want to… do… it?”  
  
It took Bloodshed a few moments to get what she actually meant. Once it clicked, he huffed and kissed her hair.   
  
“Thornstriker, yeah… Like I said, I do want to do it.” She felt him hug him tighter, so he patted her head in an attempt to comfort her. “But you’re my wife… And I won’t have sex with anyone else but you.”  
  
Primus, just the very thought of holding another woman made him sick to his stomach. Even if it wasn’t looked down upon so long as the wife was fine with it, he could never take up a mistress or have multiple sex partners just to satisfy his needs Thornstriker wasn’t ready to approach yet. He was her husband and he would remain loyal to her until the day he died, even if that meant he could never have sex with her.   
  
Thornstriker said nothing, biting her lip as she kept her face buried into his chest. She was so selfish to ask him of this… To ask her own husband to abstain from having sex with her, the woman he loved and was married to. She just didn’t want him to ask sex with other women. She just couldn’t stomach the idea.   
  
“… I’m sorry I stormed out like that.”  
  
“I-It’s okay…” It wasn’t as if the man wasn’t justified with his anger. She hugged him tighter. “I-I’m just glad you’re back.”  
  
Bloodshed nodded, titling up her chin to look at her. Primus, her eyes were all red and puffy from crying… But at least she didn’t feel so cold anymore. Leaning down, he gave her a soft kiss, Thornstriker blushing a bit when he pulled back. At least she seemed all right now… Shit, he was never going to storm out like that again. Even if he was angry. He shouldn’t have scared her or hurt her like that. He would have to make it up to her somehow…  
  
There was a small meow, making the married couple look over to see that Eira had hopped up on the bed, making her way over to Thornstriker. His wife gave a small smile as the cat wedged her little warm body in between them, purring as she nudged against Thornstriker’s face.  
  
“I’m sorry,” she said softly, stroking the cat’s fur. “I haven’t paid much attention to you tonight, have I?”  
  
Bloodshed chuckled. It was late; they both needed some sleep. It had been a long day for both of them, mainly because of their emotions running wild so late at night.  
  
“Come on; let’s get ready for bed.”  
  
“All right.”  
  
It didn’t take too long for both of them to change out of their outfits and into their sleeping tunics. And when they both crawled back into bed, Eira moved to sleep by Thornstriker’s head, allowing Bloodshed to gently pull his wife into his warm embrace. She snuggled into his chest, giving a small smile when she felt him kiss her hair.   
  
“You okay?” he murmured, pulling the blanket over them.   
  
She nodded.   
  
Bloodshed didn’t say anymore, simply holding her to him and rubbing her back. She and little Eira soon fell asleep, her husband simply watching over her for a few minutes. He brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her again, being mindful to not wake her up.   
  
Even though things were fine now, he shouldn’t have stormed out like that. Damn his stupid temper – he had made her think he hated her or something. Shit, he could never hate her. Not this beautiful woman. Not his wife. He loved her… and he was perfectly content with never having sex with her if that was what made her feel comfortable, happy, and safe.  
  
He was her husband and it was his duty to care for her, to protect her. And he would continue to do so until the day he died. All he wanted was for her to be happy. He would never ask for anything more.


End file.
